Someone should have warned me

Having a kid isn’t hard, being a grown up is.

I went back to work after having 64 days off. And by “OFF”, I mean 64 days where they only called and nagged me 14 times instead of the usual 36. And let me tell you, 64 days is not nearly enough time to lose the undisclosed amount of weight I’ve gained. Or even lose enough to fit back into my work pants. But at the risk of possibly stabbing someone that I work with, I’m rocking my regular pants with a belly band I opted not to wear my maternity pants. I’m sad that yoga pants were ruled completely unacceptable.

Bastards never birthed a child, obviously. This is why only men are ever in charge.

So yea. I’m back at work and Beanie is rocking out with Mommom and Poppy.

I think I’m missing a mom gene. Don’t get me wrong, I miss her. But I was irrationally excited to get back to this shithole and clean up whatever it is that’s messed up (everything!) I think Beanie and I have an understanding and its best described by the old adage “how can I miss you if you won’t go away”.

I don’t miss the screaming, I don’t miss the vomiting of nasty ass formula, I don’t miss having to change my shirt 4 times in 3 hours, I don’t miss the peeing on the wall.

I don’t. At All.

But at the end of the day, I’m so super excited to get home and see this little lady.

I mean c’mon, you can’t tell me this isn’t one of the cutest kids you’ve ever seen!

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