Defining Yourself

I live by a few simple rules.

The #1 rule: Never let anyone or anything else define you or who you want to be.

Unfortunately, that’s a tough thing for people because life happens. Life often gets in the way. People lose themselves in their marriages, their jobs, their relationships with others, their parenting, etc.

If I were asked what  I could or would say to someone who was having a rough time with redefining themselves, I’d ask them one question: At the end of the day, do you lay in bed and rehash your day and think “I’m exactly who and where I want to be?”

If the answer to that is NO, then I’d suggest taking a step back and figure out what you could do differently to become the person you want yourself to be.

Prior to Beanie, I would rethink my day through and think “this is where I’m supposed to be”.  I was married, I had a house, I loved my job, I thought I had it all. Then I got divorced and I couldn’t stop thinking “what did I do wrong?” I couldn’t stop overanalyzing.

One night, while out with my BFFs, they told me “it wasn’t that you did something wrong, it was that he wasn’t who you should be with.” And they were right. I kept trying to make myself believe that I was who I wanted to be but it was painfully obvious to everyone that I wasn’t with who I should have been with and at the end of the day, I wasn’t the person I wanted to be.

I’ve since transferred from where I was and I’m in a totally different place in my life. I balance between defining who I want to be as a member of the CG and who I want to be “in the real world.” Then I stumbled upon this picture:

If I could tell Beanie about my childhood, my early adult years, and my time in the CG, I would tell her “be the person you want to be.”

But it goes deeper than Beanie. I want to be the wife that my husband brags about. I want to be the mother that my kids adore and want to become just like. I want to be the best possible friend to my gals. I want it all. And right now, in my life, I believe I do.

I’ve spent quite a bit of QT with my bestie, talking her through some things and in talking to her about issues in the world, I’ve found out more about myself. It’s almost like “hey, take your own advice”. Like Beanie, this chick has saved my sanity. She has shown me that I need to take a step back and while life isn’t always the prettiest or greatest or easiest, it’s liveable at your own pace. Life will knock you on your ass. It will kick you in your non-existant balls. It will punch you in the face so many times, you think you need to buy a new one.

But that’s all ok. Because at the end of the day, you can crawl into bed, think about what you can change tomorrow, and then go forth and conquer. Sometimes you won’t conquer the world the next day but you’ll be a step closer. Even when the next day throws you two steps back, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going. Other days, you don’t want to get out of bed and that’s ok too. However, always look at your mom/your BFF/your “person”, and know that they’re saying, even if not out loud:

Pretty, pretty please Don’t you ever, ever feel Like your less than perfect. Pretty, pretty please If you ever, ever feel Like your nothing You’re  perfect to me.

I have a handful of great friends that I would go to the ends of the earth for and I hope they all know that I think this about them ♥

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