Valentine’s Day is Stupid

srsly.

srsly.

Valentine’s Day is the most ridiculous “holiday” (yes, appropriate use of air quotes) ever. Why does Hallmark have to remind you to take ONE day of the year to celebrate the person you love?

I’ve determined I need to start a business of helping men keep their women happy. Send her flowers at random. Write her little notes every so often. Not enough to make her vomit but enough to make her know that she is still wanted.

And sometimes, walk up behind her (after the kids have gone to sleep, you don’t want to scar them), throw her down, and have your way with her. Women are ok with this.

Most men are not romantic. And by “not romantic” I really mean “if water was romance, they couldn’t hit it if they fell out of boat”. I’m being completely serious, walking behind your wife while she’s cooking dinner, slapping her on the ass, and saying “is this seat taken?” is NOT romantic. I don’t care how many of your man friends you ask. And for the love of all that is Holy, please do not go the route of the cheesy pick up lines. You did not lose your number so no, you can’t have hers, she did not hurt myself when she fell from Heaven, and for God’s sake, no, her father is not a thief. He did not steal all the stars in the sky and put them in her eyes.

For me, I’d rather get a single flower on a random wednesday, nowhere close to our anniversary or my birthday.

It’s a known fact that E thinks I’m slight crazy. That’s ok. It’s always good to have your significant other slightly more afraid of you then you of them. It keeps the world peace in good working order.

Even though E isn’t the least bit romantic, there is still no one else I would rather spend this Hallmark Non-holiday with, watching bad TV, eating whatever we manage to wrastle from the fridge.

♥ Love You Bear ♥

♥ Love You Bear ♥

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