Gay Marriage – why not just “marriage”?

pardon me while I laugh my ass off

pardon me while I laugh my ass off

1) show me an American (that doesn’t live in Alaska) that doesn’t appreciate A/C. Your suit jacket probably is a blend. And eyeglasses — have you been to Starbucks lately with their selection of hipsters?

2) I’ve been trying to get tall for quite some time. And I work with all men but I have yet to grow a penis. What the hell is up with that?? I’ve heard they’re fun.

3) Three words: My Strange Addiction. A man had relationships with blow up animals and pool floats. I’m more concerns about his intentions than that of a gay man.

4) Statistics have shown that the new trend is to remove “honor and obey” from wedding vows. I, personally, did not say “obey” to E, nor he to me. If divorce is illegal, I should be thrown in jail.

5) Britney Spears is your example?! Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, and dare I say Kim Kardashian.

6) So you’re saying adopted kids aren’t legit kids?

7) I really do know someone (a couple people, actually) who was raised by gay parents. They are securely heterosexual.

8) Religion is the sole reason shit like this is posted.

9) Single Moms and Single Dads, death of one or the other. Enough Said.

10) God forbid America be adaptable.

FTR, I know this is a satire but these are all reasons that I’ve heard why people are opposed to gay marriage. And the most maddening argument: It’s against the Bible.

Ok, let’s break this down. The Bible, like the Quran/Koran, the Torah, and all other religious books were written by man.

the-religion-that-your-parents-taught-you-as-a-child-is-the-one-true-religion-what-a-coincidence

Everyone thinks they’re right. Do you think gay people wake up one day and say “hmm, think I’ll become gay and throw myself into a downward spiral of social awkwardness and take the chance on everyone hating me”? Doubt it.

Does the Bible not say “Love Thy Neighbor”?

Does the Bible not say “Only God Can Judge”?

Does the Bible not say “God Forgives Us For Our Sins”?

Pretty sure it does.

Not to mention having sex before married. Having sex during your period (gross but it happens). Lying – that’s a HUGE one.

One statement cracks me up. “Gay Marriage threatens the existence of straight marriage”. Really? How?

In the words of Mr. Belevedere on American Wedding “Not everyone wants to sleep with you, breeder”.

I don’t think people are scared of gay people (homophobia). I think it’s that they’re scared of what thoughts it might invoke in their heads.

Religion is taught. You are taught the readings of these books and you take from that what you want. Gotcha. But there is a reason there are two versions of the Bible. Someone felt that it needed to be revised. If you’ve ever sat down and read the Old Testament, it’s rough and rugged and very Old-School-Wyatt-Earp. The New Testament is much gentler and doesn’t include things like stoning your children to death.

I get that the Biblical sense of a marriage is for the man to be the head of the house and for the woman to submit. I understand that but here’s where the Christian upbringing and Feminist in me clash. I’m no one’s property (less the USCG’s). My husband and I are equals. Sure, he might pee standing up and can lift a little more than me but I can give birth and walk in high heels. The differences are what makes us unique. Love is what brings us, and keeps us together.

What is so wrong with two people loving one another, regardless of what’s between their legs?

Personally, I’d rather two women and two men love each other than to have this stupid ass war continue on and on.

gay marriage

I think this about covers it

I think this about covers it

Priorities, people. This country is $17 trillion dollars in debt and teetering closer and closer to bankruptcy. N. Korea is threatening us with rocket strikes. Homelessness is climbing. Unemployment is still high. Military benefits are getting cut.

And THIS is what you choose to fight about.

I’m pretty sure Jesus and God are shaking their heads.

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