Back to the Grind

It’s been a month since we moved and while we aren’t settled in yet, E has a job that he really seems to enjoy (save the 98* heat every day), Beanie is loving her school and she simply amazes me with what she comes home and tells us she learned that day, and me — well, I’m employed. I’m not going to lie, I don’t love it. This a factory job and it doesn’t satisfy my craving to please people. I’m sucking it up though and moving forward.

It seems like everyone I know is jumping on on bandwagon of fitness and I’m all “HA! I’ve been on the wagon”, but I haven’t. Weight has snuck up and it’s being a menance to get off so I made the decision to recommit myself to getting this weight {back} off and keeping it off.

Ran another 6 miles this past Saturday, I was surprised at how easy it was coming back to me. I picked a route that would mimic the hills on the Charles St 12 course. Hopefully I can manage that one without dying. It’s coming up in 2 weeks and I’m horrificly under trained. My M.O….

I also committed to try the 3-Day Refresh  and the 21-Day Fix, both by Beach Body, which is where my Body Pump came from. I adore Body Pump. I actually feel like I’m doing something with this work out, not just a “blah blah blah” jumping around. I wish I could have two TVs in one room so I can play Pump on one screen and 30-Day Shred on the other. (i’m sure some Beach Body coach is cringing that I put Jillian Michaels in the same sentence but hey, the woman is a psychotic bitch but she can work out!). So I started Day 1 of the 3-Day Refresh.

I can’t choke the shit down! The chocolate Shakeology is like drinking dark chocolate syrup. I mixed it with almond milk (had to go dairy free) and I’m not sure if I didn’t use enough to what but wow. I got to the fiber drink and nope. Finished half before I gagged and had to stop. I think I could have chugged this except I didn’t mix it well enough. No one wants to chew their drinks. The Vanilla shake for lunch — I chugged that shit. I’m talking, I’ve taken shots of fireball slower than I chugged this drink. I’m going to try blending this with strawberries and a banana tomorrow and seeing if that can’t help any. I’m sticking with it because I paid A LOT for it I’m committed to trying this program and looking to see what results I can get.

Don’t worry, I’m not becoming a coach. I don’t have enough time in the day to remember where I put my child, let alone sell stuff. But I have an awesome coach, should any of my readers want to look deeper into any products 🙂

NaBloPoMo – Nov 15th

Day 15: If you could quit one bad habit instantly without difficulty, which would it be?

Oh. Ma. Gawd.

The Hair Twirling.

I’m a hair twirler and I seriously need meetings to stop this shit. I will find a chunk of hair and I will run my fingers down it over and over and over and over. It’s almost like a nervous twitch. If I wear my hair down, you can guarantee that I will have one chunk of greasy hair by the end of the day. I’ve had people threaten to cut it off if I didn’t stop.

Now, my p0or daughter. She’s inherited this from me. When she gets stressed or overwhelmed or tired, she will suck on one thumb and play with her hair with the other. She will twirl it around or simply “tease” it (pick it up and drop it, thus creating a rats nest).

This is what I saw upon the small human waking this morning

This is what I saw upon the small human waking this morning

It drives me batty because, to wrastle it in the mornings, it creates WW 15 or 16, I can’t remember which one we’re on. It’s awesome if she were to leave it alone and be cute but, well, she’s two. She also has a perpetual Snooki bump.

I can't tame it unless I weigh it down

I can’t tame it unless I weigh it down

She has fairly longer hair, for a 2 yr old but it’s curly. I’m talking Shirley friggin Temple curly. She will never have to do her hair for a dance or fancy occassion if we can teach her to leave her hands out of it.

The Curls

The Curls

So far that’s my OCD and my hair issues that she’s inherited. How much worse is this going to get? That chapter is unwritten.

NaBloPoMo – Nov 9th

See? No prompt and I forgot a day so I’m making up for it today with two posts. Bear with me.

There was an article going around about how marriage isn’t for this guy. Ok fine. Except I think this guy is way out of left field.

When I got married the first time, I could have totally written this post. My ex husband asked me to marry him and make him the happiest man in the world. I obliged. But I shouldn’t have. That’s not to say I didn’t love him but I wasn’t completely convinced that that was the road we needed to take. However, we already had the house, the car, and had pissed the grandmothers off because we were living together before marriage so we figured, that was the next “logical” step.

Marriage isn’t logical. It often times doesn’t make sense. Two people get together, fall in love, and get married.

But it’s not that simple.

I still say “everything was perfect until we decided to live happily, ever after”.

That was true. Before he put a ring in it, things were great. We were committed, happy, loving. He put a ring on it and everything changed. I felt like I owed him something. I felt like I was obligated to play a part in a movie that I didn’t sign on to do. I didn’t like that feeling. Then, when everything imploded around us, I felt obligated to stick by him and make things work. I felt obligated to fight for a marriage I knew was dead.

I hate feeling obligated.

I want to do something that *I* want to do it. I want to WANT something, someone. I didn’t want to feel like I HAVE to do something.

It’s true, marriage is a full time job. But, with the right person, it’s effortless. Yes, it takes work. You have to work on your marriage and make it work. There are days you’re going to feel like you made a horrible mistake. There are days you’re going to look at this person and think “I’m the luckiest person on the planet”. There are days you’re going to wonder where you could possibly hide a body and hope your BFF will help you dig. It takes work.

When I first met E, things were relaxed. We laughed a lot. We spent hours texting and talking and being real with one another. He realized, with me, what he saw was what he got. We had our arguments, we had our disagreements. We worked through them and, fortunately, we came out on top. He doesn’t love me for my quirks, he loves me IN SPITE of them. He puts up with my crazed obsessions and we find ways to balance one another.

I often get criticized because I say I’m a wife, first, and a mom second. Now, don’t get me wrong. Don’t, for one second, think I wouldn’t stop a speeding train and cut the juggler and heart out of anyone who wrongs my little girl. She means the world to me and I would do anything for her. But. God willing and the creek don’t rise (WTH does that mean?!), she will grow up, become even more independent, and create an adult life for herself that doesn’t include living in my basement. I’m raising her to stand on her own two feet.

What happens when she grows up and leaves, if I dedicate all my time to grooming her for this day? I’m left staring at a man that I don’t really know, except as “Dad”. That’s when couples of 20 years get divorced. You have to know who you married. You have to know that you can be a couple again, once the kids leave the nest. You have to be sure that, at the end of the day, you see yourself, in a rocking chair on the front porch, with this person and you’re going to be happy.

And if you don’t want to have kids? I applaud you. I know couples who get married and their plan is to just live their lives together with no kids. And that’s a great plan. They should never be made to feel guilty or to feel as though they’re doing it wrong. Being married does NOT mean you have to have kids. You should never get married simply because your partner wants children. For some, that is a deal breaker and that’s ok. That means those people are smart for not throwing away their beliefs and wants out of life.

Marriage is equal parts giving and receiving. There are times E walks in front of me, makes the decisions and wears the pants. But there are times I walk in front of him and I wear the pants. However, at the end of the day, we make the big decisions together.

People often ask us if we got married because I was pregnant. The answer: absofrigginlutely NOT. We planned to get married because we loved how the other made us a better person. Do we compromise? Of course. Do I give up what I believe in simply to make him happy? Not a chance in hell.

In short: Marriage is not for others. It’s for you. People ask others to marry them because they love how that person makes them a better person and how they make them feel. You should never get married because you feel obligated to.

The only “Happily Ever After” you’re guaranteed, is the one you create.

Oct has it’s ups and downs

October has been a month of ups and downs for us. Getting to visit Maryland was awesome. It was great to see our friends and (some of our) family.

Some other photo dumps of Oct:

dog headband

This poor dog. Lenny takes a beating, that’s for sure! It’s tough when your master is a 2 yr old girl who adores headbands and tutus.

We got to see an amazing Harvest Moon

Harvest Moon over the Penobscot Bay

Harvest Moon over the Penobscot Bay

E and I rarely have a say in what this little girl wears, these days. She picks what she wants and she’s quickly learning that jackets are required

Clearly dressed herself

Clearly dressed herself

Unfortunately croup hit our house 😦

croupA fever of 101.2 and she sounded like a seal that smoked 2 packs a day. Poor beebah was miserable

can't hold this girl down

can’t hold this girl down

Fortunately, she rebounded quickly and is back to her sassy self

And we’ve capped off the month with a trip to the “big” playground

Sliding Time_1

Sliding Time_2

Sliding Time_3

Oct has been a good month for the Coastie house ♥

Accidental Runner

Apparently I’m not a blogger. But the weather has broken and now it’s turning tundra-ish up here. 27* when I left this morning. That’s some bullcrap.

So we left off in June. A LOT has happened since then.

For starters, I think I’ve become a runner, by accident.

I started this journey back in Feb of this year, as a resolution. I wanted to do something for myself that didn’t cost money and that would benefit me in the long run (no pun intended). So I started with the Couch-to-5K program. I loved it. Ran my first 5K in May (Mother’s Day). After deciding I was going to run the Baltimore Half Marathon, I decided I wanted to go for the Lobster Fest 10K.

In an effort to train for the Firecracker 5K (as a training run), I got distracted. By a food truck. Rolled my ankle. That was fun.

Yea...

Yea…

Spent a couple of days like this:

I think the flip flop really compliments the combat boot, dontcha think?

I think the flip flop really compliments the combat boot, dontcha think?

But I managed to shake it off and run the Lobster Fest 10K. I sucked.

2013 Lobster Fest 10K

2013 Lobster Fest 10K

Ok so I didn’t totally suck but it was horrible. The heat and humidity was terribly, I tweaked my knee around Mile 3, I could only run for maybe a minute at a time from Miles 3 to 6. I booked it once I hit Mile 6 but by that time, I was already way in the back of the pack. I managed to finish with 6 people behind me. I set 4 goals for myself:

1) Finish – CHECK

2) Don’t finish last – CHECK

3) Finish in under 1:30 – CHECK (finished 1:19:47)

4) Don’t pee on yourself – CHECK

Overall, I felt pretty optimistic. Although the sobbing and complaining of not being able to bend my knee kind of put a damper on the mood for the rest of the day. E wasn’t too terribly pleased that I continued to run but eh, oh well.

Finally, all of the training came down to this:

The 2013 Baltimore Running Festival

The 2013 Baltimore Running Festival

I was registered and ready to go.

We left for Baltimore after E got off work. 12.5 hrs later, we finally arrived. We ended up in crazy traffic in NYC so we got off 95. In the Bronx. At midnight. Right. 3 white people and a Rottweiler. Our brightest idea yet.

I got up around 5:30 to get showered and tame my mane so we could leave by 7. We get in the car, get down there, and park in the first place we find. We see the Marathon kick off and start walking down to the starting pens. There were 5 pens for the Half. Since I had registered to finish in 3 hours, I was in Wave 5, at the back of the pack.

It took us 17 mins to actually cross the start line. 10,000+ people being corraled through one street in Baltimore, to cross the start line. It was a mad house.

Starting Line!

Starting Line!

Miles 1-5 went fantastically. I was able to keep my pace and run. Of course I get stuck next to the grown man who wants to sing Celine Dion. Sorry pal but the power of her love wasn’t what was keeping me going.

Mile 6 it got tricky. We joined courses with the full marathon runners, as well as Leg 4 of the Relay.

Mile 7-10 I ended up walking a lot. My stomach was upset, my knee was throbbing, and I was just out of it.

Mile 11-12 I took off, running for my life

I hit Mile 13 and I was on Cloud 9.

Finally finished!

Finally finished!

I met both of my goals:

1) Finish

2) Finish in under 3 hours. My official time: 3:00:24.

I finally found my family after the race

I finally found my family after the race

Right. SHE needed the nap...

Right. SHE needed the nap…

2013 Baltimore Running Festival - Half Marathon FINISHER!

2013 Baltimore Running Festival – Half Marathon FINISHER!

All in all, I’m SO glad I did it and I can’t wait for the next one!

To date: I’ve run 346 miles and I’ve lost 25 lbs 🙂

Into June

Work blocked WordPress from our server so while I can see my own blog, I can’t write my own blog. Rude, right?? WTH, Gov’t Server?!

We took Beanie to the Augusta Veteran’s Memorial Cemetery to help put flags on the graves of the Vets we’ve lost. Aside from the rain, it was a moving experience.

DSCN2821

There's nothing quite as awesome as teaching your own kid about respect

There’s nothing quite as awesome as teaching your own kid about respect

The weather here flat out sucks. There’s no two ways about that. It rains/is wet All.The.Time, it’s colder than it should be, and dangit, I just want a tan. The one day we managed to get Beanie outside, it only lasted 37 mins. But I’m thinking she had plenty of fun 😉

IMG_4121

This has to be one of my favorite pics right now. She is completely a Daddy's Girl

Anywho — nothing else major going on. Oh, except one thing.

I’M TRAINING FOR A HALF MARATHON!

That’s right, I was talking to the SIL one day and she mentioned the Baltimore Running Festival. I thought, how fun would it be to run through Baltimore City, without being chased by the cops, and check another item off my Bucket List? When I looked at the route, it seems doable so I said “I’m in”. Now I’ve acquired two running mentors, a large support network, and a whole lot of excitement.

My first 5 mi run!

My first 5 mi run!

I’m excited to keep going, the weight is coming off (slowly, but surely) and I’m really having fun with this!

IMG_4158Now we move into June…

Girls Rule

For all you people who think boys are the ultimate prize in the baby race, you’ve never gotten to have this kind of fun:

Tutu

That’s right. Girls are awesome and this little lady is the awesomest of them all ♥ As you can tell, Beanie has started flexing her independence and wanting to dress herself, which is fine except people are beginning to wonder if Ace Ventura is her father. Hey, I couldn’t care less if this is how she wants to run around, as long as she eats her veggies and still gives us hugs before she goes to bed every night ☺

Happy Friday, y’all!

CG Fun

FunDesensitized

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s right. The time has come again for Forced Family Fun!

Ok, that’s about as much excitement as I can muster up, given the fact that we’re all forced to join together, go to this dinner in our Bravos, most of which don’t fit so we look like we’re all making a bunch of left hand turns because not one person in that building can lift their arm above their elbow. Not to mention it takes 4 people to get a pat of butter around the table because of said restrictive jackets.

Me

jacket

I don’t mind my jacket so much. I worked hard for my awards.

Ok, I worked for my awards.

Whatever, I was still present and did was required to participate in receiving these awards. They are mine.

Most families were spared and didn’t have to attend this shindig. Mine didn’t get so lucky.

Dinner

All the spouses get recognized when we have this dinner. Being a military spouse is hard. Dealing with the long hours, waiting for us to get home from God knows where, dealing with our smell (there are days where we stink to high heaven). It’s tough. Hell, even finding out that you can’t get time off to attend a family funeral is tough, as we’ve just endured. It’s one of the toughest jobs out there but we’re lucky enough to have spouses that stand behind us and that’s awesome.

So the spouses get called up to be recognized and sure enough, E is the only male spouse. Out of FOUR units and over 100 people, I’m the only girl that is hitched. When people figured out what was going on, E got a standing ovation. He stood up there, proudly, while holding Beanie, as I gave him his rose (manly, isn’t it!).

When all was said and done, speeches were made, dinner was eaten, and drinks were drank.

Although this wouldn’t be complete without some embarassment. As the MC was recognizing the retirees and asked if there were any Navy retirees, Beanie drops her cup and yells “UT OH” to which prompted people to turn and look. Awesome.

But it wasn’t a terrible night.

Well, it wasn’t until someone got pissed that the party was over and bedtime was necessary.

Pissed

There’s always next year to party some more.

25 Rules for Mothers of Daughters

When I was that blog post about social media and the impact it has on today’s youth, I got to thinking about values and morals that I hope Beanie can learn from me. And then I found this list. It’s been passed around for a little while but I’m just now seeing it. To whoever wrote it : You nailed it!

1. Paint her nails. Then let her scratch it off and dirty them up. Teach her to care about her appearance, and then quickly remind her that living and having fun is most important.

2. Let her put on your makeup, even if it means bright-red-smudged lips and streaked-blue eyes. Let her experiment in her attempts to be like you… then let her be herself.

3. Let her be wild. She may want to stay home and read books on the couch, or she may want to hop on the back of a motorcycle *GASP*. She might be a homebody or a traveler. She may fall in love with the wrong boy, or meet Mr. Right at age 5. Try to remember that you were her age once. Everyone makes mistakes, let her make her own.

4. Be present. Be there for her at her kindergarten performances, her dance recitals, her soccer games… her everyday-little-moments. When she looks through the crowds of people, she will be looking for your smile and pride. Show it to her as often as possible.

5. Encourage her to try on your shoes and play dress-up. If she would rather wear her brother’s superman cape with high heels, allow it. If she wants to wear a tutu or dinosaur to the grocery store, why stop her? She needs to decide who she is and be confident in her decision.

6. Teach her to be independent. Show her by example that women can be strong. Find and follow your own passions. Search for outlets of expression and enjoyment for yourself – not just your husband or children. Define yourself by your own attributes, not by what others expect you to be. Know who you are as a person, and help your daughter find out who she is.

7. Pick flowers with her. Put them in her hair. There is nothing more beautiful than a girl and a flower.

8. Let her get messy. Get messy with her, no matter how much it makes you cringe inside. Splash in the puddles, throw snowballs, make mud pies, finger paint the walls: just let it happen. The most wonderful of memories are often the messy ones.

9. Give her good role models – you being one of them. Introduce her to successful women – friends, co-workers, doctors, astronauts, or authors. Read to her about influential women – Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Marie Curie. Read her the words of inspirational women – Jane Austen, Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson. She should know that anything is possible.

10. Show her affection. Daughters will mimic the compassion of their mother. “I love yous” and Eskimo kisses go a long way.

11. Hold her hand. Whether she is 3 years old in the parking lot or 16 yrs old in the mall, hold onto her always – this will teach her to be confident in herself and proud of her family.

12. Believe in her. It is the moments that she does not believe in herself that she will need you to believe enough for both of you. Whether it is a spelling test in the first grade, a big game or recital, a first date, or the first date of college… remind her of the independent and capable woman you have taught her to be.

13. Tell her how beautiful she is. Whether it is her first day of kindergarten, immediately after a soccer game where she is grass-strained and sweaty, or her wedding day. She needs your reminders. She needs your pride. She needs your reassurance. She is only human.

14. Love her father. Teach her to love a good man, like him. One who lets her be herself… she is, after all, wonderful.

15. Makes forts with boxes and blankets. Help her to find magic in the ordinary, to imagine, to create and to believe in fairy tales. Someday she will make her 5 by 5 dorm room her home with magic touches and inspiration. And she will fall in love with a boy and believe him to be Prince Charming.

16. Read to her. Read her Dr. Seuss, and Eric Carle. But also remember the power of Sylvia Plath and Robert Frost. Show her the beauty of words on a page and let her see you enjoy them. Words can be simply written and simply spoken, yet can harvest so much meaning. Help her to find their meaning.

17. Teach her how to love – with passion and kisses. Love her passionately. Love her father passionately and her siblings passionately. Express your love. She her how to love with no restraint. Let her get her heart broken and try again. Let her cry, and gush, giggle and scream. She will love like you love or hate like you hate. So, choose love for both you and her.

18. Encourage her to dance and sing. Dance and sing with her – even if it sounds or looks horrible. Let her wiggle to nursery rhymes. Let her dance on her daddy’s feet and spin in your arms. Then later, let her blast noise and head bang in her bedroom with her door shut if she wants. Or karaoke to Tom Petty in the living room if she would rather. Introduce her to the classics – like The Beatles – and listen to her latest favorites – like Taylor Swift. Share the magic of music together, it will bring you closer together – or at least create a soundtrack of your life together.

19. Share secrets together. Communicate. Talk. Talk about anything. Let her tell you about boys, friends, school. Listen. Ask questions. Share dreams, hopes, concerns. She is not only your daughter, you are not only her mother. Be her friend too.

20. Teach her manners. Because sometimes you have to be her mother, not just her friend. The world is a happier place when made up of polite words and smiles.

21. Teach her when to stand up and when to walk away. Whether she has classmates who tease her because of her glasses, or a boyfriend who tells her she is too fat – let her know she doesn’t have to listen. Make sure she knows how to demand respect – she is worthy of it. It does not mean she has to fight back with fists or words, because sometimes you say more with silence. Also make sure she knows which battles are worth fighting. Remind her that some people can be mean and nasty because of jealousy, or other personal reasons. Help her to understand when to shut her mouth and walk away. Teach her to be the better person.

22. Let her choose who she loves. Even when you see through the charming boy she thinks he is, let her love him without your disapproving words; she will anyway. When he breaks her heart, be there for her with words of support rather than “I Told You So”. Let her mess up again and again until she finds the one. And when she finds the one, tell her.

23. Mother her. Being a mother – to her – is undoubtedly one of your greatest accomplishments. Share with her the joys of motherhood, so one day she will want to be a mother too. Remind her over and over again with words and kisses that no one will ever love her like you love her. No one can replace or replicate a mother’s love for their children.

24. Comfort her. Because sometimes you just need your mama. When she is sick, rub her back, make her soup, and cover her in blankets – no matter how old she is. Someday, if she is giving birth to her own child, push her hair out of her face, encourage her, and tell her how beautiful she is. These are the moments she will remember you for. And someday when her husband rubs her back in attempt to comfort her, she may just whisper “I need my mama”

25. Be home. When she is sick with a cold or broken heart, she will come to you; welcome her. When she is engaged or pregnant, she will run to you to share her news; embrace her. When she is lost or confused, she will search for you; find her. When she needs advice on boys, schools, friends, or an outfit; tell her. She is your daughter and will always need a safe harbor – where she can turn a key and see comforting eyes and a familiar smile; be home.

Instagram

In the social media world that we live in, it’s ever evolving. First there was MySpace. Then there was FaceBook for students only. FB eventually opened up to become the world’s largest social network. Now there are offshoots. Twitter, Tumblr, Tout, and now Instagram.

I’m on Instagram. I enjoy it. I find it to be more private than FB so I can share pics of Beanie without the worry of who is seeing them. It’s also a way to document my WLJ and other random pics.

When I take pics of my runs and HRM, I sometimes tag them with odd tags. Friday’s photo looked like this:

(names and comments have been deleted to protect the screen names of others)

(names and comments have been deleted to protect the screen names of others)

And just for shits and giggles, I tapped on the #wanttobeskinny tag and lo and behold, there were several pics of extremely skinny girls. And one, in particular, broke my heart. Her tags were #bulimic, #anorexic, #nomorefood, etc. I can’t wrap my mind around this but this find came on the heels of reading a pretty interesting article.

This blog post has been floated around FB for the past couple of days and it really struck me. Actually, it scared the shit out of me. This is what I’m going to have to potentially deal with, having a daughter of my own. It seems like kids these days (Man I feel old saying that) base their self worth on what happens on social media. How many friends can they have on FB, how many followers they can get on Instagram, what people read their Tumblr pages, etc. This makes it nearly impossible for parents to instill values into their children, and to almost convince them that they are worth so much more than what these media outlets are telling them.

After reading this, I thought “How the hell can I possibly raise this little girl to be an independent, self-made woman who knows what she’s worth and because of that, demand the respect she is entitled to?

Beanie already marches to the beat of her own drum. She likes to do her own thing and while some people judge for that (obviously she’s so independent because she wasn’t breast fed or coddled as an infant BAER), she seems happy.

You wanna wear work boots? You rock them harder than work boots have ever been rocked.

You wanna wear work boots? You rock them harder than work boots have ever been rocked.

You want to pair a leopard print tutu with cupcake pajamas? Do it up, sister!

You want to pair a leopard print tutu with cupcake pajamas? Do it up, sister!

and above all, if you want to sit back and watch the world and observe

do it in a fabulous pair of sunglasses that you chose because you love them

do it in a fabulous pair of sunglasses that you chose because you love them

 

 

rachelkern152

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