Welcome To The World

Contractions started at 0715 on Monday, 9.26.11. After 17 hours of unmedicated, trying to stick it out at home laborous contractions, I finally told E “Honey, it’s time”, although it went a little more like “get your shit, I’m in pain”. Poor boy only had 2 hours of sleep before I woke him up.

We got to the hospital at 1230 on 9.27.11 and we got to spend 7 hours in the triage area. For some reason, the midwife on call refused to check me. She did, however, offer me some Stadol for the contractions. Let me tell you, this stuff — it’s interesting. Trying to itch my nose, I smacked myself in the face quite a few times. That was the extent of her bedside manner.

Thankfully, once the shift changed, there was a host of new staff and they were fantastic. Around 0730, the midwife checked me and I was 2.5cm dilated so they said “mmkay, you can stay” and we got to walk to our room. We weren’t leaving without our baby girl!

Once we got to our room, I was lucky enough to get an epidural. That wasn’t in my original plan but after having contractions for 24 hours, I needed something. Problem is, they had trouble with it. They finally got it, or so they thought.

I labored through the day and around 2:30p, they broke my water. Let me tell you, there is nothing ok about having them break your water. Not because it’s gross but because it’s like you pee yourself and you can’t control it.

Labor continued and they told me I was 8cm and I was going to get pitocin to help me progress.

It was all downhill from there.

The pitocin and the epidural didn’t mix well and I couldn’t breathe. They turned back one of the two and I was ok so I slept for a bit. Until all of a sudden, I’m awoken by the nurse, telling me that I needed to roll over. Problem was, because I had the epidural (and whatever they did to it), I had zero control over my legs/lower half. It took 3 people to roll me over. Turns out, because of the mixture of the epidural and the pitocin, my heart rate plummeted and the baby’s stopped registering completely.

They turned down the epidural and I felt everything. I was so out of it though, I couldn’t communicate, other then to cry. They got everything under control and I slept some more.

Until it happened again.

This time, my brother-in-law had come to visit and he was put to work. They had him help roll me over (Sorry B-I-L, if you saw anything that will cause you to never make eye contact with me again). After they got my heart rate back up and the baby’s heart rate was back on the monitor, they said “time to push”.

Yea, that didn’t work.

After 3 hours of pushing on and off, I finally said “I’m done”. 24 hours+ without food (sorry but ice chips don’t do shit for hunger), and 39 hours in labor, I was calling it a day. The midwife on call wanted to argue but I ended up with a c-section. I started feeling ill and sure enough, I had a temperature of 100.4*.

I had a c-section but again, the meds didn’t work so I felt everything. After they got her out (unbeknowst to me because no one told me what was going on), I finally asked for something strong so they gave me something that knocked me out and by “knocked me out”, I mean, I don’t remember anything from 10p Tuesday night to 2:30am Wednesday morning.

It wasn’t until 3am that I was coherent enough to be told that our baby girl was in the NICU. With my fever, it turns out I had something called Chorioamnionitis. No one told me this until Wednesday afternoon. I was hooked up to IVs and after I finished the bag, they allowed me to go to the NICU to see my baby girl for the first time ever. E had already seen her and met her so he was getting the info on her.

Regardless of the shitty experience of labor and delivery, the unprofessionalism of the NICU staff upon initial interaction, and the arguing with the midwife and Attending OB surgeon, I finally got my baby.

Welcome To The World
Born: 9.27.11
Time: 2155 (9:55p)
Weight: 8lbs, 4.46oz
Length: 20″
Proud Daddy, visiting his baby girl
Happy Mama, finally getting to hold Beanie
We are completely in love and while she’s giving us a run for our money, we couldn’t be happier

The Final Countdown

40 Weeks
40 Weeks 4 Days
I finally had enough.
I tried everything to get this little lady out.
I mean everything.
I ate spicy food.
I drank caster oil.


I  was even in a wedding at 2 days over due and attempted to dance her out! (which was quite amusing because everyone thought I was pregnant with multiples and had time. Imagine their surprise when I told them simply “nope, only one baby and I was due on thursday”)

But nothing. Well, we did try something else but you all don’t need to know about that.

Needless to say, it was a “Hi Due Date. Bye Due Date” kind of time.

Prison Sentence

I’m officially no longer allowed to work. I made it 39w4d through the pregnancy before finally my doctors won and said “no mas!”

In hind sight, I should have stopped sooner. The commute was starting to get to me, the walking through the buildings was not fun, and the complications that were beginning to arise made me hate life. 

But I’m bored. 

I can only handle hearing “You ARE NOT the father” so many times before even Maury can’t help. 

Yesterday was a different story though. 

I woke up and I couldn’t stand up straight. The pressure I was feeling, I thought for sure something was going on. Of course I had no idea because this is my first baby and the midwife I had seen prior to refused to look to see what was going on “because I wasn’t having contractions”. 

After crawling through our apartment and sobbing, I made it to my doctor’s appt. Very little progress (read: NONE!) but one thing that was concerning to the midwife was the Little Lady’s heart rate kept dropping. So over the L&D we went. 

 All was well, she looks fantastic, heart rate is strong, and fluid levels look good.

But she’s not making it easy for us. She’s showing no signs of vacating. With a due date of 9.22, I’m thinking that date is going to come and go — with no debut…

So Close — Yet So Far Away

37 Weeks

38 Weeks

39 Weeks – Will this be the last one?

So 3 more weeks have passed here in Pregnancy Land but guess what? Well, you already know. I’m still pregnant. Still.
And now I’m to the point where, whenever I call well, pretty much anyone, the conversation starts with “OMG, Are you ok?!” So before they get a chance to speak, I have to yell “I’m Ok!” and then continue the conversation.
Not much else going on other than I’ve finally been told not to come back to work and E is working 12+ hours a day, Ladybug’s room is nearly complete, and that’s about it.
We lead a pretty boring life as of late.
Although I did get a picture message from E with his latest purchase: 


What a good man 🙂

Just Do It — It won’t kill you

E’s finding it harder and harder to argue with his wife who is 39 weeks pregnant (that would be me, in case you’re wondering… Yes, I’m still pregnant. Still.)

A conversation from last night:

Him: I may or may not have eaten one of your chocolate bunt cakes that you got from the Farmer’s Market.

Me: Are you f**king kidding me?

Him: umm….

Me: I will seriously kill you in your sleep.

Him: I’ll eat the other one, if that’s how this is going to go down.

Me: {{{staring daggers in his direction}}}

To my knowledge, my chocolate bunt cake is still there and E woke up, all parts in tact, this morning so all in all, it’s a success.

But what kills me, I’m massive. Like, I’m talking, I can’t see my toes, don’t bother asking when the last time I shaved my legs were (hello, there are arteries down there, I don’t want to die, smooth legs or not). Yet he seems to point out the obvious when it comes to doing things. The other night he was in the bathroom was in the other room and I asked him to turn the fan on. He comes into the bedroom and looks at me, point blank and says “why can’t you do it?” Umm, jackhole, it took me 30 mins to hoist myself into bed, the bed YOU refuse to lower. “Pretty please with sugar on top?”

He did it because he wanted to live to meet his daughter.

He won’t, however, look for the hairy, scary spider that is residing in my SUV that made me almost hit a shopping cart at Target the other day. He’s convinced that it won’t bite me, kill me, and then eat me.

Apparently he doesn’t know “women and children go first”. Ass.

We’re going to act like 3 weeks haven’t passed

34 Weeks — I know, my work shirts are getting way too short
35 Weeks
36 Weeks

Yea. I told you, I’m not terribly good at keeping up with this. I’m trying though, honest!

So where do I begin?

Oh yea, 15 Aug was our follow up fetal echo for the little miss. SOMEONE *ahem this child* didn’t want to cooperate. Commence shaking. Oh and I’m pretty sure the tech think E and I need to not have children together. Or at the very least, find a suitable therapist that can tolerate us both. I guess it could have been the comment about “wait until we get home” and the way he put his hand up at me. Or the comment about “when you find the daddy, let me know.” Either way, we assured her that no, we do not beat one another. Yes, E IS the father (and he knows). Yes, we were meant to be married.

16 Aug was my next appt with the docs and all is well in the world! She said “ok, it could be any time now”.

Well shit.

That wasn’t what I was hoping to hear.  I was hoping to hear “oh, you have time left so go ahead and relax and take your time”. Instead, what I heard was “Commence freaking out because you’re screwed”


Now I’m just in a “hurry up and wait” pattern. Waiting for the minute that I think I might have peed myself, only to discover “hey look, there’s a little arm coming out”. Wait no, The Sibling said that can’t happen.

We’ll see.

I’m a Slacker, I know

32 Weeks
33 Weeks
I’m a slacker with this blog thing, I know. I apologize.
So we reached (and passed) 32 weeks, YAY! This was where the docs were worried I wouldn’t reach but the odds were beaten and we’re now in the home stretch.
As much as I can’t wait to meet her and see her personality (which, if movement is any indictation, she will be full of personality), and just have her here. However, there are still things I need to get done so let’s have her bake a little longer.
I actually found myself explaining a situation to E and I used a turkey as an example. I kind of feel bad for referring to my daughter as a turkey but hey, it fit. E wasn’t understanding why she’d have to go into the NICU if I gave birth between 30 and 34 weeks. I said, think of me as a slow roaster. Right now I’m slow roasting the baby until she’s completely done. Slow roasting takes 40 weeks. When you take something out of the over too soon and it’s undercooked, you have to microwave it to ensure “doneness”. Well, in this case, the NICU would be the microwave and they’d have to finish cooking her from the outside.
I think he understood that analogy. Either that or I made him very hungry. Who knows.
I’ll hit 34 weeks tomorrow and Monday, I have a follow up with the Fetal Echo sonographer and the Neonatalogist. If all goes well, we won’t have to be back at all! The OB wants me to come back on tuesday so next week is going to be full of all appts baby. I’m looking forward to seeing her on the big screen again, I won’t lie 🙂
Nursery is complete, a name has been 95% settled on (I think, and no, it’s not Regina), and we have almost everything we need for when she first comes home. Minus, of course, formula. So for all of my family reading this, pls bring big bags to the hospital when you meet the baby so you can sneak some formula out for us 🙂 just kidding… but not really.

It wouldn’t be our child without some drama

But I can’t even blame her.

Yesterday and Sunday were quite scary for both E and I. Sunday morning I started throwing up. Not like “morning sickness” hurling. Like laying-on-the-floor-writhing-in-pain-crying-and-crawling-hurling.

Except I don’t cry when I throw up. I’ve mastered the art of getting in and getting out without waking anyone up.

Thank you 24 yrs of migraines.

But I digress.

So yea, I was throwing up and not just once. I’m talking at least 7 times. I finally napped a little and choked down some more food but sadly, that made a second appearance.

Monday, I woke up and still felt like utter hell but I got dressed and went into work, only to be told “call the doc”. I discussed it with E and he sided with the 6 men that I work with agreed and said “let’s go” so I called the doc and they said “come on in”

5 hours in Labor and Delivery and I was labeled a Medical Mystery. No signs of significant dehydration, no blood, cramping, comtractions, nothing.

In fact, there was nothing AT ALL wrong with Le Bebe. She was happily kicking the monitor and making the monitors fall off my stomach. She had the nurses cracking up (and slightly irked that they had to keep readjusting the monitors LMAO)

But alas, we were released and told to go home, stay out of the heat, and attempt to keep her in the oven for at least another 2 weeks (YIKES!)

We’ll see if she listens…

The Post in Which We Talk Frankly

30 Weeks
31 Weeks

I try not to complain about being pregnant and all things associated with being pregnant. I feel blessed every day, to wake up and still be pregnant. I’m ok with going to the doctor’s 5 times a month if it means I get to hear her heartbeat and know that things are going ok.

But I have to tell you, complaining be damned. I hurt. I feel like my vajayjay is going to fall off. I’ve been told it can’t and it won’t but still, I feel like it’s going to detach itself from my body. And even if it doesn’t, I’m totally not going to be surprised if I go to the bathroom one of the bajillion times that I go per day and see a teeny, tiny hand or foot sticking out.
It just makes sense that that would happen to me.
Not to mention I can’t sit or stand without wincing. My feet are swollen to the point where I can only wear my work shoes if I unlace them (which makes for a fantastic conversation piece when I have an Officer come over and talk to me). I pee a bajillion times a day and lately, with this 45-day-long-sinus funk, peeing is a timed event. Not that I’ve had this happen (knock on wood) but if I cough in between trips to the bathroom, catastrophic things could happen. On top of all of this, I’m pretty sure this little lady is playing ping pong with my left ovary.
These are all things I’m finding out that NONE of my mom friends told me.
But seriously, I feel blessed and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Well, maybe a few things but we’ll leave them alone.
So the little ticker thingy at the top of this blog tells me that I only have 59 days left. Really? Because I’m not scared enough? Good thing we have most of what we need. So what if we have to bungee cord her to the seat when we leave the hospital. I’m sure the nurses will look the other way eventually, right?
I thought E and I were making progress on the name front. We had settled on a name and we started calling her that. And then, the other night, he looks at me in all seriousness and says “What about Regina?”
AAANNNDDD we’re back to square one.

Baby Showers and lots of Pics

I didn’t go into detail with my first baby shower b/c I didn’t have a ton of pictures but I finally got some of them, along with pictures from my second shower!

I don’t have much to report until tomorrow so for now, I’ll leave you with pictures (and lots of them) 🙂

28 Weeks

29 Weeks
(and yes, I do feel like I’ve dropped and popped LOL)

(I thought it was a party for Mommom so I bought her a balloon. She was angry I took over her party LOL)

T, greeting me

This kid truly is my nephew. If there is a body of water, this kid will find it!

Great action shot of how the boys spent their time at the party. The Sibling managed to catch C1, mid-flip

“I match Uncle E!”

Handmade Blanket from Mommom B, in her colors of pink and brown

A handmade blanket from Mom C

The Sibling managed to get a handful of belly without me smacking her. She got lucky

Pin made by Mom C

S-I-L and I.
(Can you believe this skinny chick had a baby just 3 months ago?! Here’s hoping I get half as lucky!)

My gorgeous sisters and I

The Moms

Clay Baby on the cake

Cupcake Cake from Mom C and S-I-L’s shower

T and I

The Sibling and I

Getting ready to open gifts

Inevitably asking someone what the heck that was.
(I’m quite baffled by many baby things. This could be trouble)

The Theme of this little Girl

Someone got creative with the bows and string

Ahh, Aunt M and her Big Peckers obession

Sign for Daddy

Handmade Blanket from Aunt W
(All of us nieces and nephews are so incredibly lucky to get a hand-stitched quilt, made with love)

Cake from Mom S and The Sibling’s shower

This smug b*tch. She gets her drink and says “Lara, I miss you!”

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